love is patient, love is kind..

October 25th, 2011: was surgery #3 for my mother.

For anyone reading this and have known a previous health history of my mother will probably wonder when it will ever end. Sometimes I wonder how she does it. My mother is a survivor, a fighter, a trooper, and anything that can make her seem so unique as she is. Watching someone you love go through pain is really difficult but when its your own mother and there is nothing you can do it makes it so much more difficult.

My mother had a hernia that formed from her first major surgery in December, 2010. The hernia was so large and according to the nurses "they thought it was an aliens head". That is rather scary to me. My mom has been low on oxygen but is slowly getting better by the day. i love her so much and i only want her to be well. it breaks my heart each time i visit knowing that she is still in pain.

So this week has consisted of visiting at the hospital, work, visiting at the hospital and sleep. pretty much anyway.

so thank you everyone for all the prayers, love and support. keep the prayers coming as prayer goes a long way.

love is patient, love is kind, love is unbreakable.

new updates.

My life is a bundle of joy.
minus this head cold i have caught.
*** aches all over, head pounding, ears ringing and constant trying to breathe makes things uncomfortable.

I started my new job as an After school program leader at the Boys and Girls club. I am on a new journey which shall be challenging but rewarding in the same sense.

A new vehicle may be in my future. will update when the time arrives.

final thought: we must be positive in this everyday life we live. I know through my previous experiences I wouldn't be where I am if I were not positive and didn't have positive individuals in my life. We must try to excel at everything we encounter and take those experiences forward. Live your life to the fullest, but love it also.

Goals!

Believe it or not... I'm alive!

I've been avoiding blogging. I've been doing something new. Not completely new to me. However, I've been self reflecting. As easy as that might sound, it can be more difficult than anticipated.

So I have decided upon self reflection that I need some new goals:

1) be more healthy

everyone should be healthy to an extent. This increases our life, decreases some diseases, etc. My family has a huge history of cancer, high blood pressure, thyroid problems, diabetes..etc. I went for some blood work to ensure everything is fine, no call backs.. so that's a good sign right?

I eat a bit better, I wont lie I treat myself once in a while which is well needed of course. I exercise a bit more too, even started back at the gym.

2) keep your eye on the prize!

This is my favorite goal. So what prize am I aiming for? I want to fulfill my every wish and desire. I want to use the potential I have and put it into a passion of mine. To not hide around the bush I want to find an amazing job so I can broaden my horizons. Interview after interview, job application after job application is my life these days. But that is going to change soon, because I am convinced that the only reason rejections have occurred in my life thus far is because i'm not ready for it yet and i have a new challenge coming my way. Faith in God and in myself has helped me see this.

3) family first.

Family is important. you are only given one family, so you need to appreciate them. <3

As everyone has known since last november, my world has continued to crumble when it comes to the health of my mother. Needless to say, things are improving and I only pray she is on the road to recovery. September 27, is when goes in for surgery #3 since November. I know she will have an extra special angel watching over her (my nan) oh how blessed we are to have someone watching over us such as her own mother <3 I know everything will work out, as it always does.. with time.

4) My needs and wants come first before any relationship.

this is self explanatory, I think.

5) change my look. Don't be the same Jenn Carroll people remember but be a new Jenn Carroll people will come to love even more.

Most people know I have a new hair style :) short hair, is a completely new change for me.

The list will continue to grow...

"Throughout my life: I've loved, I've lied, I've hurt, I've lost, I've missed, I've trusted, I've made mistakes, but most of all, I've Learned"

the future?

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that's doing its best to make you somebody else, is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.”- E. E Cummings 

I've taken time away from blogging. Needless to say my life hasn't been completely entertaining nor has it been completely boring either. I'm learning to take one day at a time. I've always wanted to have plans, to know what's next and these past few days I've found the complete opposite. 

Life as a graduate is.. about the same. But it doesn't mean it will always be like this. I spent 11 days in Fredericton for one of the biggest events. For those who don't know what Congress was, I worked for the Canadian Federation for Humanities and Social Sciences located at St. Thomas University and University New Brunswick. With approximately 5,000 scholars, independent researchers, policy makers, practitioners, graduate students, exhibitors and community participants, the 2011 Congress was one of the most engaging in its 80-year history.  To be a member of that history is pretty incredible. I had the opportunity of working with some amazing people. I’m glad I did this.

Since coming home from working Congress, I’ve found myself unemployed. It seems as though I’m overqualified for jobs and employers aren’t even giving me the time of day. It’s unfortunate because I just want a job to get me started. I check the job bank and career beacon ALL the time. I just don’t know what to do with myself these days. Who wouldn’t want to hire a University graduate? Apparently all of Miramichi! I have an interview at Reitmans on Monday, so hopefully I can get that.

Lately I spend my time driving around, thinking, brain-storming and find my mind wandering. I actually sent an email to one of the cofounders of Best Buddies Steven Pinnock. I may have a potential task to see what I can do to get my hometown in Miramichi interested in beginning a chapter of Best Buddies here. I think it would be incredible if I could help start something. I’m about changes and bringing a community together and this would be excellent for Miramichi as Margaret Mead would say : “A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has”.

I have lots of ideas, I guess I need to start with something. And Employment, it will come soon. The only way I can look at it is just because a door has closed doesn’t mean another one won’t open. Someone will see the potential I have, someday. I’m going to do amazing things.. just you wait. 

Change!

"Change brings opportunity" - Nido Qubein 


Sunday,May 15, 2011 marks an important date for me. It was Spring Convocation at St. Thomas University. I among many fellow colleagues received degrees. I now am a graduate of St. Thomas University where I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree, finally. 

Many people who know me, know how big of a deal this is. I never once expected to attend university from my previous memory of being a high school student back in 2002. When I made that decision to attend University as a mature student, a lot of things changed. I never was a fan of change. I hated it. I wasn't exposed to much change most of my life. But when I went through the transition of living on my own, in my own apartment, working full time to becoming a full time student who was beginning a pile of debt, I was scared! Yes, very scared. I wasn't sure where that school would take me and whether I was mentally ready for this change. School wasn't let's say "easy" for me. I found it challenging. I had my days where I cried because I felt like a failure when I couldn't do well in statistics, or when I was so stressed out because I was faced with so much group work. Not many people even know how hard my second year of University was on me, I almost dropped out because of Quantitative research methods. I had my parents on the phone crying saying i can't do it, I want to leave. Reflecting back, so much would have changed for me if I did leave University that day. I taught myself valuable lessons through a class I didn't excel at, and that is if you really want something so bad, you will fight till the very end. I'm not proud that I barely passed the class, but I did pass and that's something to be proud of. 


Through my years at STU, I met my family. Not my biological family, obviously. But a group of people that welcomed me with open arms and smiles that made me realize I belonged to that school. I discovered myself a bit more through my years when I lived in Vanier Hall from 2008-2011. I was never a girly girl growing up. Seeing me dresses didn't happen often if at all, painting my nails wasn't something I did often, nor did I do all my hair up all fancy. I was your average girl living in a place that was an all girls residence. Vanier changed me and I like to think I have changed Vanier too. I met a diverse group of girls in that house that are like little sisters to me. Sacha Smith and Amanda Dunsford were two of my best friends in my early years, we had supper together every night for a couple years I'm sure. One night there was a birthday party for a girl on first floor and none of us knew who the girl was but joined in on the singing of happy birthday with birthday hats on. Like that's the kind of sense of belonging Vanier gave.

My first meeting of Victoria Beaulieu was she was in the hallway doing laundry and I say hi would you like to come to dairy queen with us for ice cream? That's coming from the me, a girl who was considered shy. I met Sam Bates because I approached her asking her to sit with me Sacha and Amanda at a Vanier supper. 


In my 2nd yr in Vanier I was seen as the one who brought 3rd floor together There was such a huge group of us that had supper together every night. Brittany, Asha, Kate, Ashley, Laura, Tara, Ashley, Rebecca, and Ayat. That year I met some of my best friends. I cherished my time with them. 

But this finally year in Vanier really topped it off as a Residence Advisor. I loved that house and I couldn't have imagined my final year being more complete if i hadn't been in Vanier. I loved knowing that almost every night I would see Amy and Annie in the 2nd floor lounge nightly. I would find Val, Mallory, Katelyn, Katie and Jodie in the first floor lounge. Or how I would find Kendra, Jill, Alex, Robyn and Laura in the kitchen nightly. It was routine and if i can call it a ritual as it happened so often to find these girls around the house in their particular areas. I will also remember being the cheer off champions for 2010, what a rush that night was. 

Honestly, I learnt my passion during my days in Vanier and at STU. I learned my passion for helping people. As my dad always says, "always put a smile on a strangers face". I always tried to make people smile when I was in others presence. Knowing I may have made a difference in someones life is rewarding on its own. I hope from this day forward I can continue to make changes, positive ones of course. I hope I can touch more lives in the process. I have lots of plans and potential goals to achieve, so I must go from there. 


One goal I can finally check off my list to do: is I now have my Bachelor of Arts Degree. That is incredible on its own. I'm sure if i could go back in time I would have tried to do better in my classes or done a few things differently. But I'm proud of what I have accomplished. This final year was a challenge, but nothing I couldn't overcome. It truly shows you how strong you are, as you are never given more than you can handle. :)


Change brings opportunity. So does the road ahead. Walking this path will bring me to my destination, eventually. 

If you dream it, you can achieve it

It's time for a new post. I've been putting it off for quite some time.

I have finally left St. Thomas University. I have finally left Vanier Hall. and finally I have left everything I have known for the past 4 years. They say when a chapter of your life ends, a new one begins. I'm not sure I know what that new beginning will be. But I sure will embrace whatever comes my way.

In Vanier I will miss finding Annie MacDuff in the 2nd floor lounge. I will miss the gathering of my girls on 3rd floor. I will miss tormenting the crap out of my first years by saying oh Hey Girl Hey to them daily. I will miss wearing that green RA shirt weekly. I miss giving out the mail and seeing the happy faces of excitement because they actually have mail. I will miss being in a house full of girls. I will miss bugging the cleaner Gloria weekly and saying how she was my partner in crime. even though I will miss lots, I know I will carry so many memories with me to last a life time. To be honest I feel the most important thing that I can take from my experience of living in Vanier for 3 years is that I have touched many lives. But also that so many lives have touched my heart as well. There is no better feeling then knowing you've made a difference in some way. You will never remember what someone did, you will never remember what someone said, but you will always remember how they made you feel. :)

At STU I will miss the feeling of belonging. I will miss finding a friend in James Dunn at Tim's to have coffee with, I will miss the friendly faces of the cafeteria that I came to know and love. I will miss dropping by to Residence Life, just because. I will miss the beautiful campus. I came to learn who I was because of that school. I discovered so much about society because of the professors and the students. But most importantly I learned my passion. My passion is to help people and I am forever grateful I had the opportunity to become an RA to find this passion.

Today happened to be my Nan's burial. What a rainy and cold day it was. It was short and sweet. My nan would have hated the rain. But knowing she's finally at peace in her resting place, I could not ask for more. I finally have my most prized possession thanks to my aunt Sharon, the mug I made my Nan a year ago. I'm so happy I have it back. Thank you Sharon, it means so much.

Slowly I've been getting unpacked, I just have so much stuff it's kind of ridiculous. but it'll get done eventually.I worked the election on Monday for 15 hours and Congress is coming up so I'll be busy with that. BUT in 10 days.... I am Graduating. Now that is a sign of true success. I am going to graduate even though this past year was so difficult. my lowest grade this semester was a B. Like that is so awesome, so proud I am.

If I could give any advice it would be: if you dream it, you can achieve it. I know I did.

to be compassionate, to be responsible, to be free, to be...

Ever get so excited for something?

I am. I'm excited for home. my mother's bright smile followed by a welcoming hug. my father's grin with few words followed by a hug. I am excited to walk into my home with all my belongings from Fredericton. As much as I love Fredericton, my home in Miramichi is what I love most. I miss the atmosphere of love, of welcoming smiles from my most favorite two people in the world. Nothing makes me more proud, when I look at them. They have made me into the woman I am today, and that I am forever grateful for.

Lately I've been lonely. I'm not familiar to this feeling. I just feel a part of me is missing these days. I feel going home will do me well.

This is a picture of my wonderful parents. This exact picture is my screensaver on my laptop, so i'm reminded every time of them and how close home really is for me.  2 weeks until home. :) :) :)

soon, I will be free.. 

Endings with new beginnings?

They say when door closes another opens. I believe this to be very true. 

"When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us" - Helen Keller

That is a quote that gets me every time. 

Last week marked my final Vanier house dinner, on April 7th. I had the opportunity of giving out my winglet awards for 3rd floor this year. So honoured because I had received that winglet award the past 2 years while being a resident on 3rd floor. I don't feel it's hit me that I'm finally leaving residence, leaving Vanier. Maybe it will hit me soon. 

Talk about hitting a person soon... grad dinner was last week as well, on April 8th. If that doesn't hit me maybe the fact that the class composite for grads was displayed in James Dunn Hall would be enough of a realization... but it's not.

I'm not sad, I'm not glad, I'm not scared. I'm excited. The future is so unknown for me, but I'm okay with that. I don't know where I will be, I don't know what I will be doing, but i do know for a fact I'm going places. 

St. Thomas has done so many good things for me. The people, the classes, the university, the organizations I took part in; live within me always. This place has given me an amazing opportunity to help discover who I am. After my first year at STU I became to realize I was meant to be here. Not that I was the smartest or most involved but I found a place that felt like home. Before I came to STU I almost had a mental breakdown from having a relationship with my first love end in 2007 and leaving the only job I knew which was Zellers. I didn't know if STU would make me, or break me. Turns out STU made me. STU made me realize there is so much more to life when I thought my world was crumbling. Just like STU has currently made me aware that because I don't have this wonderful plan to change the world, that it is okay. I am who I am because of the people I've met and the experiences I have endured. I could not ask for more. I know good things are ahead of me. I plan to enjoy this time away from school. But don't be mistaken. I'M NOT DONE SCHOOL! I am destined to go elsewhere and when that time comes, I will embrace it. 

Today is my last day of classes for my BA. I have my final class at 4. So off I go. 

There might be endings but so many new beginnings are about to start. I am so excited for that. 

What's next?

So they say bad things happen in 3's?

I hope it's only in three's. I think my bad luck is done. My mom has overcome all complications thus far, I pray to God she on the road to recovery. I lost my Nan, but she's in a good place now.  And, I didn't get into Social Work this year. How much more can I take? I'm not quite sure.

Ever have a plan and have to change those plans? Well I have to. I've been researching job prospects for next year and this summer. Been applying to many jobs. Maybe I will hear from John Howard society or the Transition house back home. Hopefully!

Reflecting back, I know I gave my social work interview and social test my all. I had so much going on and I still applied with good spirits, no one can ever ask me to do much more than that. The weird fact of this all is I haven't been down in the dumps about being rejected. I think deep down I am convinced that everything happens for a reason and that maybe I need to spend some more time at home. I can't say it's been an easy year away from home that is for sure. They always say your grad year is the best. In my situation, not so much. Possible upgrading at the college to help my GPA could be in order, some more volunteer work could be in order, or perhaps more experience in a field that will help me grow my resume. There are many possibilities. I just wish I knew what road I wanted to take and where I wanted to go. I guess home is where I'll start and where I end up, I have no idea.

Needless to say I don't know what's next..technically. However I like that feeling. It's not as scary as one might think.

actually i lied because Graduation is next. Oh what a nice achievement that is going to be! :)

What is a role model?

Ever have someone in your life that inspires you?

Someone who makes you know there are good people in this world?

I have that person in my life. Yeah I know, I'm lucky. But when I tell you who that person is, you will realize how lucky I really am.

My role model is my Father, John Edward. I want to make this post to be dedicated to him because he is absolutely amazing. I could not imagine my life without him, he does so much for me as well as those around me.

My dad works hard at his job as an electrician for NB Power. He has supported my mother and I for many years. He makes sure we have what we need, and most times what he want, because he's super generous like that. When my mother became ill was when I seen the real man he is. He was there by her side everyday even if he didn't say much. If you knew him you'd know he's a man of few words with lots of jokes to bring a smile to your face. But when my mother was sick I seen my father step in as my mother's primary caregiver. That to me is huge. Not many men in society are seen in this particular role which makes this a bigger deal. He did it all. he did the wash making sure my mother had clean clothes while in the hospital or at home, he cooked, he cleaned, he got her anything she needed. He did it not because he had to but because he wanted to. I know when you love someone that is expected, but to me it feels as though he's done more than what should be expected.

Not only was he there for my mother during her sickness, but he was there for my nan as well. he would visit her in the hospital even if my mother wasn't with him. My Nan thought highly of him, I know this because of how many times she would tell me he was a great worker and how he's always so good to her and to everyone else.

My dad would do anything for anyone. You needed money he'd do what he could to help you out. You needed something fixed I know my dad would fix it. My dad is so kind hearted, so friendly, and never has a bad thing to say about anyone. I admire these qualities he has. I hope I continue to be like him. I look like my father, act like him and talk like him. If I can live up to my dad's life I would be set. My dad has taught me so much but the one thing he's taught me that I like most is "always try to put a smile on a  strangers face". It's something I try to do a lot.

I know how fortunate I am to have an amazing father. I hope I can some day repay him for the wonderful life he has given me, helping me through university, always trying to give me what he can. I know he's proud of me thus far and will be super proud of me when I graduate from university in May. I love my father and couldn't imagine my life with him.

Looking ahead...

I decided I should put up another post.

Wake is over, funeral is over, and I'm back in Fredericton once again.

Do I enjoy being back in Fredericton? not really. But that's life for the time being.

My mother finally made it home from the hospital. This made me very happy. She is still in pain, but that's expected after a week of surgery. I love her so much. It has breaks my heart more and more each time she goes through pain. Of course we never want out loved ones to experience any type of pain. We want to help them, make it go away if it's in our power. I cannot take my mother's pain away. But i try to remind her each time we talk how much she means to me, to tell her that I love her, and that everything is going to be okay.

Since November 2010 my life has been a roller coaster ride. I never know when I'll be up or down. Some weeks are good and others simply tear me apart. My mother has been through so much since November. I know I am fortunate to still have her here with me. She experienced a mini stroke, a bypass which basically turned into heart surgery, followed by a gallbladder attack, pancreatitis to finally having her gallbladder removed. As if she didn't have enough problems going on, she then lost her mother. A mother she was extremely close with. I can't imagine where she gets her strength, then again I know I'm as strong as I am because of the family I was born into. We're fighters till the very end, both the Carroll's and Vautour's.

I love who I am. I would never wish to be a part of another family. Each day I continue to learn more about myself through my family. I self reflect more than I realize.

Looking ahead, I have Graduation on May 15th. That is one of the only reasons I am still here.  If i can overcome this struggling year, I can overcome absolutely anything!! I believe that very strongly.

learning to let go

How do you say goodbye to someone you love dearly?

I still don't know. I still don't believe there is a goodbye.

Today was my nan's funeral. it was very emotional on more than one level. My mother was unable to attend her mother's funeral because she still isn't well. This made me sad inside but I knew my nan would understand. If anything she'd say "Donna, go lay down, get some rest". The funeral was beautiful, the church was jam packed and there was lots of tears. My nan would have loved it.

I didn't cry as much in the last couple days as I expected. I'm not the same Jen I was before my Nan passed away. There's someone with me. Someone watching over me perhaps.. I have some strength within me that I can't explain. I was that strong person hugging other people while they cried their hearts out. Some things are left unknown... for now.

I don't have to many feelings to talk about at this point. I currently have a broken heart because Im in Fredericton and not at home in Miramichi. They say home is where your heart is. I've learnt fast this year how true that really is.

I wish i could be home taking care of my mother whether it is at the hospital or at my parents home. I can't wait till this grad year is complete. It's truly been the roughest year of my life.  Maybe my nan will be at my graduation, I know she'd be proud of me for sticking it out till the end.

Learning to let go ..isn't as easy as one might hope.

She's gorgeous in this picture, but she's even more gorgeous now as an angel :)  Rest in Peace Nanny. Love you always and forever. xoxo

There must be Angels among us!

Today was my Nan's wake.

I know for a fact that someone was watching over me and someone was helping me through this difficult time. I was calm and mature during this difficult time and knew my Nan would be impressed with how I presented myself. Losing a loved one is hard, but having your own mother not well at the same time is really hard.

At 12:30 my father and I went to the hospital to pick up my Mother so we could go to the wake together. Since my mom's surgery, she's in pain, highly medicated and in need of a lot of rest. I can only imagine what she's going through and how she will be when she is healed. I believe that so many thoughts are running through her mind.

My mom got her day pass to attend this wake but had to return to the hospital afterwards as she still isn't being released. My mom was very drowsy and didn't look well but she put in a long couple hours at the funeral home. I was impressed with her but saddened inside knowing her circumstances.

I was at the wake for the evening without my parents. But I had lots of family to keep me strong. My nan was certainly loved, there were so many people there. I knew if my nan were here while having dementia, she would have said "who the f*ck are all these people?" hahaha. she would have said those exact words, honestly. My nan didn't hold anything back. I loved that about her.

Today she was like an Angel. She was so peaceful looking. and gorgeous? oh my god, she looked wonderful. She looked 30 years younger. it was perfect, just like she is.

I miss her a lot already. But i would never wish her to suffer and live the life she was living these past few years. I know she is with me, and wouldn't doubt it if she gave me the strength to make it through this day.

Tomorrow will be the final goodbye. I and all grandchildren are honorary paul bearers. I know Nan would have loved that :)

Life is about changes and the final stage to change is tomorrow. There are angels among us, I know this.

the sun is shining...

So today I arrived home in Miramichi with Steven and Billy.

Hearing my nan's death on the radio made it more real, not that it ever felt unreal...

our first stop? the hospital where I went and paid a visit to my mother who is still in the hospital recovering from her gallbladder surgery. My mom is in a lot of pain, still. It breaks my heart to see her in this state. Not only does she lose her mother who she was dearly close to but also continues to suffer from more than one surgery in 5 months.

Another way to look at it is from my mom to my nan i am clearly born in a family of strong women who never give up till the very end. I like that quality.

Tomorrow is my Nan's wake 2-4 and 7-9. I'm not near as worked up as I normally would be. I guess I wanted my Nan at peace and I know she is finally happy. That comes from strength and not being selfish, I know she'd be proud that I and many of family members feel the same way :)

I haven't seen many family members yet, but I'm sure in the next day I will.

so the sun is shining today.. I'm sure it's my Nan shining from above.

May the Lord grant me strength to get through this difficult time.

what makes you stronger...

I decided to re-start a blog to discuss my feelings because as of late I've had a lot feelings bottled inside.

Today March 18th, 2011: marks the death of my dear Nanny, Irene Vautour.

For anyone who knows me well enough will understand what I am really going through. I know death is a weakness of mine, I never deal with it well. But this time, things were a bit different on how I handled it. Maybe I've matured from the "I don't understand why you had to leave" and transitioned into the woman who accepts death as a good thing. I guess as I get older, I accept death more than I imagined I would. My Nan lived a good life, she was 82 years old. I know she will longer be suffering and will finally be at peace. For any understanding individual you couldn't ask for anything more.

My Nan was always in such good humor, she could make anyone laugh. My favorite saying that she would use would be "like a pigs nuts", or "I hung up the saddle, cuz my riding days are over". You would have to know my nan to fully understand. It wasn't till some of my relatives posted some of these funny sayings on facebook that I took a different approach with her death. Instead of grieving over her death, I've been trying to teach myself ways of not focusing on just the death but rather see it as a celebration.

She was a big Bingo player, she loved it. It was one of her favorite pastimes. I always played tv bingo or fun bingo as she would call it when I was home. She loved boost the strawberry kind, and to be honest it actually did taste good. I watched a lot of the same television shows as she did. She loved Friends, and Seinfeld, she's say look at that crazy Kramer and George and laugh. These are the things I want to think of my nan for.

My mother reminds me of my Nan a lot. The way she talks, smiles and acts. I'm glad I still have a piece of her with me. I'm worried about how my mom is doing. She hasn't been well lately. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a parent and I know someday I will, but i just can't imagine what my mom is going through right now.

I understand we all die, we age and die. It's the unfortunate fact of life. So tomorrow morning I head home with my brothers Steven and Billy to be with my family and to say my final goodbyes to my Nan. I just hope I have the strength to get through this difficult time. I've had so many supportive friends here for me, it means so much. No words can fully describe how much it means to me.

On a final note, my Nan will finally be reunited with lost family and friends especially with my Grandfather Benny whom I never had the opportunity to meet and my Uncle Gary who left us suddenly in 2004.

"there is no Goodbye, it's see you later"
Love you Nan, I look forward to our meeting down the road....

..what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger!