Looking ahead...

I decided I should put up another post.

Wake is over, funeral is over, and I'm back in Fredericton once again.

Do I enjoy being back in Fredericton? not really. But that's life for the time being.

My mother finally made it home from the hospital. This made me very happy. She is still in pain, but that's expected after a week of surgery. I love her so much. It has breaks my heart more and more each time she goes through pain. Of course we never want out loved ones to experience any type of pain. We want to help them, make it go away if it's in our power. I cannot take my mother's pain away. But i try to remind her each time we talk how much she means to me, to tell her that I love her, and that everything is going to be okay.

Since November 2010 my life has been a roller coaster ride. I never know when I'll be up or down. Some weeks are good and others simply tear me apart. My mother has been through so much since November. I know I am fortunate to still have her here with me. She experienced a mini stroke, a bypass which basically turned into heart surgery, followed by a gallbladder attack, pancreatitis to finally having her gallbladder removed. As if she didn't have enough problems going on, she then lost her mother. A mother she was extremely close with. I can't imagine where she gets her strength, then again I know I'm as strong as I am because of the family I was born into. We're fighters till the very end, both the Carroll's and Vautour's.

I love who I am. I would never wish to be a part of another family. Each day I continue to learn more about myself through my family. I self reflect more than I realize.

Looking ahead, I have Graduation on May 15th. That is one of the only reasons I am still here.  If i can overcome this struggling year, I can overcome absolutely anything!! I believe that very strongly.