My life is a bundle of joy.
minus this head cold i have caught.
*** aches all over, head pounding, ears ringing and constant trying to breathe makes things uncomfortable.
I started my new job as an After school program leader at the Boys and Girls club. I am on a new journey which shall be challenging but rewarding in the same sense.
A new vehicle may be in my future. will update when the time arrives.
final thought: we must be positive in this everyday life we live. I know through my previous experiences I wouldn't be where I am if I were not positive and didn't have positive individuals in my life. We must try to excel at everything we encounter and take those experiences forward. Live your life to the fullest, but love it also.
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
Goals!
Believe it or not... I'm alive!
I've been avoiding blogging. I've been doing something new. Not completely new to me. However, I've been self reflecting. As easy as that might sound, it can be more difficult than anticipated.
So I have decided upon self reflection that I need some new goals:
1) be more healthy
everyone should be healthy to an extent. This increases our life, decreases some diseases, etc. My family has a huge history of cancer, high blood pressure, thyroid problems, diabetes..etc. I went for some blood work to ensure everything is fine, no call backs.. so that's a good sign right?
I eat a bit better, I wont lie I treat myself once in a while which is well needed of course. I exercise a bit more too, even started back at the gym.
2) keep your eye on the prize!
This is my favorite goal. So what prize am I aiming for? I want to fulfill my every wish and desire. I want to use the potential I have and put it into a passion of mine. To not hide around the bush I want to find an amazing job so I can broaden my horizons. Interview after interview, job application after job application is my life these days. But that is going to change soon, because I am convinced that the only reason rejections have occurred in my life thus far is because i'm not ready for it yet and i have a new challenge coming my way. Faith in God and in myself has helped me see this.
3) family first.
Family is important. you are only given one family, so you need to appreciate them. <3
As everyone has known since last november, my world has continued to crumble when it comes to the health of my mother. Needless to say, things are improving and I only pray she is on the road to recovery. September 27, is when goes in for surgery #3 since November. I know she will have an extra special angel watching over her (my nan) oh how blessed we are to have someone watching over us such as her own mother <3 I know everything will work out, as it always does.. with time.
4) My needs and wants come first before any relationship.
this is self explanatory, I think.
5) change my look. Don't be the same Jenn Carroll people remember but be a new Jenn Carroll people will come to love even more.
Most people know I have a new hair style :) short hair, is a completely new change for me.
The list will continue to grow...
"Throughout my life: I've loved, I've lied, I've hurt, I've lost, I've missed, I've trusted, I've made mistakes, but most of all, I've Learned"
Friday, 17 June 2011
the future?
I've taken time away from blogging. Needless to say my life hasn't been completely entertaining nor has it been completely boring either. I'm learning to take one day at a time. I've always wanted to have plans, to know what's next and these past few days I've found the complete opposite.
Life as a graduate is.. about the same. But it doesn't mean it will always be like this. I spent 11 days in Fredericton for one of the biggest events. For those who don't know what Congress was, I worked for the Canadian Federation for Humanities and Social Sciences located at St. Thomas University and University New Brunswick. With approximately 5,000 scholars, independent researchers, policy makers, practitioners, graduate students, exhibitors and community participants, the 2011 Congress was one of the most engaging in its 80-year history. To be a member of that history is pretty incredible. I had the opportunity of working with some amazing people. I’m glad I did this.
Since coming home from working Congress, I’ve found myself unemployed. It seems as though I’m overqualified for jobs and employers aren’t even giving me the time of day. It’s unfortunate because I just want a job to get me started. I check the job bank and career beacon ALL the time. I just don’t know what to do with myself these days. Who wouldn’t want to hire a University graduate? Apparently all of Miramichi! I have an interview at Reitmans on Monday, so hopefully I can get that.
Lately I spend my time driving around, thinking, brain-storming and find my mind wandering. I actually sent an email to one of the cofounders of Best Buddies Steven Pinnock. I may have a potential task to see what I can do to get my hometown in Miramichi interested in beginning a chapter of Best Buddies here. I think it would be incredible if I could help start something. I’m about changes and bringing a community together and this would be excellent for Miramichi as Margaret Mead would say : “A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has”.
I have lots of ideas, I guess I need to start with something. And Employment, it will come soon. The only way I can look at it is just because a door has closed doesn’t mean another one won’t open. Someone will see the potential I have, someday. I’m going to do amazing things.. just you wait.
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Change!
"Change brings opportunity" - Nido Qubein
Sunday,May 15, 2011 marks an important date for me. It was Spring Convocation at St. Thomas University. I among many fellow colleagues received degrees. I now am a graduate of St. Thomas University where I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree, finally.
Many people who know me, know how big of a deal this is. I never once expected to attend university from my previous memory of being a high school student back in 2002. When I made that decision to attend University as a mature student, a lot of things changed. I never was a fan of change. I hated it. I wasn't exposed to much change most of my life. But when I went through the transition of living on my own, in my own apartment, working full time to becoming a full time student who was beginning a pile of debt, I was scared! Yes, very scared. I wasn't sure where that school would take me and whether I was mentally ready for this change. School wasn't let's say "easy" for me. I found it challenging. I had my days where I cried because I felt like a failure when I couldn't do well in statistics, or when I was so stressed out because I was faced with so much group work. Not many people even know how hard my second year of University was on me, I almost dropped out because of Quantitative research methods. I had my parents on the phone crying saying i can't do it, I want to leave. Reflecting back, so much would have changed for me if I did leave University that day. I taught myself valuable lessons through a class I didn't excel at, and that is if you really want something so bad, you will fight till the very end. I'm not proud that I barely passed the class, but I did pass and that's something to be proud of.
Through my years at STU, I met my family. Not my biological family, obviously. But a group of people that welcomed me with open arms and smiles that made me realize I belonged to that school. I discovered myself a bit more through my years when I lived in Vanier Hall from 2008-2011. I was never a girly girl growing up. Seeing me dresses didn't happen often if at all, painting my nails wasn't something I did often, nor did I do all my hair up all fancy. I was your average girl living in a place that was an all girls residence. Vanier changed me and I like to think I have changed Vanier too. I met a diverse group of girls in that house that are like little sisters to me. Sacha Smith and Amanda Dunsford were two of my best friends in my early years, we had supper together every night for a couple years I'm sure. One night there was a birthday party for a girl on first floor and none of us knew who the girl was but joined in on the singing of happy birthday with birthday hats on. Like that's the kind of sense of belonging Vanier gave.
My first meeting of Victoria Beaulieu was she was in the hallway doing laundry and I say hi would you like to come to dairy queen with us for ice cream? That's coming from the me, a girl who was considered shy. I met Sam Bates because I approached her asking her to sit with me Sacha and Amanda at a Vanier supper.
In my 2nd yr in Vanier I was seen as the one who brought 3rd floor together There was such a huge group of us that had supper together every night. Brittany, Asha, Kate, Ashley, Laura, Tara, Ashley, Rebecca, and Ayat. That year I met some of my best friends. I cherished my time with them.
But this finally year in Vanier really topped it off as a Residence Advisor. I loved that house and I couldn't have imagined my final year being more complete if i hadn't been in Vanier. I loved knowing that almost every night I would see Amy and Annie in the 2nd floor lounge nightly. I would find Val, Mallory, Katelyn, Katie and Jodie in the first floor lounge. Or how I would find Kendra, Jill, Alex, Robyn and Laura in the kitchen nightly. It was routine and if i can call it a ritual as it happened so often to find these girls around the house in their particular areas. I will also remember being the cheer off champions for 2010, what a rush that night was.
Honestly, I learnt my passion during my days in Vanier and at STU. I learned my passion for helping people. As my dad always says, "always put a smile on a strangers face". I always tried to make people smile when I was in others presence. Knowing I may have made a difference in someones life is rewarding on its own. I hope from this day forward I can continue to make changes, positive ones of course. I hope I can touch more lives in the process. I have lots of plans and potential goals to achieve, so I must go from there.
One goal I can finally check off my list to do: is I now have my Bachelor of Arts Degree. That is incredible on its own. I'm sure if i could go back in time I would have tried to do better in my classes or done a few things differently. But I'm proud of what I have accomplished. This final year was a challenge, but nothing I couldn't overcome. It truly shows you how strong you are, as you are never given more than you can handle. :)
Change brings opportunity. So does the road ahead. Walking this path will bring me to my destination, eventually.
Sunday,May 15, 2011 marks an important date for me. It was Spring Convocation at St. Thomas University. I among many fellow colleagues received degrees. I now am a graduate of St. Thomas University where I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree, finally.
Many people who know me, know how big of a deal this is. I never once expected to attend university from my previous memory of being a high school student back in 2002. When I made that decision to attend University as a mature student, a lot of things changed. I never was a fan of change. I hated it. I wasn't exposed to much change most of my life. But when I went through the transition of living on my own, in my own apartment, working full time to becoming a full time student who was beginning a pile of debt, I was scared! Yes, very scared. I wasn't sure where that school would take me and whether I was mentally ready for this change. School wasn't let's say "easy" for me. I found it challenging. I had my days where I cried because I felt like a failure when I couldn't do well in statistics, or when I was so stressed out because I was faced with so much group work. Not many people even know how hard my second year of University was on me, I almost dropped out because of Quantitative research methods. I had my parents on the phone crying saying i can't do it, I want to leave. Reflecting back, so much would have changed for me if I did leave University that day. I taught myself valuable lessons through a class I didn't excel at, and that is if you really want something so bad, you will fight till the very end. I'm not proud that I barely passed the class, but I did pass and that's something to be proud of.
Through my years at STU, I met my family. Not my biological family, obviously. But a group of people that welcomed me with open arms and smiles that made me realize I belonged to that school. I discovered myself a bit more through my years when I lived in Vanier Hall from 2008-2011. I was never a girly girl growing up. Seeing me dresses didn't happen often if at all, painting my nails wasn't something I did often, nor did I do all my hair up all fancy. I was your average girl living in a place that was an all girls residence. Vanier changed me and I like to think I have changed Vanier too. I met a diverse group of girls in that house that are like little sisters to me. Sacha Smith and Amanda Dunsford were two of my best friends in my early years, we had supper together every night for a couple years I'm sure. One night there was a birthday party for a girl on first floor and none of us knew who the girl was but joined in on the singing of happy birthday with birthday hats on. Like that's the kind of sense of belonging Vanier gave.
My first meeting of Victoria Beaulieu was she was in the hallway doing laundry and I say hi would you like to come to dairy queen with us for ice cream? That's coming from the me, a girl who was considered shy. I met Sam Bates because I approached her asking her to sit with me Sacha and Amanda at a Vanier supper.
In my 2nd yr in Vanier I was seen as the one who brought 3rd floor together There was such a huge group of us that had supper together every night. Brittany, Asha, Kate, Ashley, Laura, Tara, Ashley, Rebecca, and Ayat. That year I met some of my best friends. I cherished my time with them.
But this finally year in Vanier really topped it off as a Residence Advisor. I loved that house and I couldn't have imagined my final year being more complete if i hadn't been in Vanier. I loved knowing that almost every night I would see Amy and Annie in the 2nd floor lounge nightly. I would find Val, Mallory, Katelyn, Katie and Jodie in the first floor lounge. Or how I would find Kendra, Jill, Alex, Robyn and Laura in the kitchen nightly. It was routine and if i can call it a ritual as it happened so often to find these girls around the house in their particular areas. I will also remember being the cheer off champions for 2010, what a rush that night was.
Honestly, I learnt my passion during my days in Vanier and at STU. I learned my passion for helping people. As my dad always says, "always put a smile on a strangers face". I always tried to make people smile when I was in others presence. Knowing I may have made a difference in someones life is rewarding on its own. I hope from this day forward I can continue to make changes, positive ones of course. I hope I can touch more lives in the process. I have lots of plans and potential goals to achieve, so I must go from there.
One goal I can finally check off my list to do: is I now have my Bachelor of Arts Degree. That is incredible on its own. I'm sure if i could go back in time I would have tried to do better in my classes or done a few things differently. But I'm proud of what I have accomplished. This final year was a challenge, but nothing I couldn't overcome. It truly shows you how strong you are, as you are never given more than you can handle. :)
Change brings opportunity. So does the road ahead. Walking this path will bring me to my destination, eventually.
Thursday, 5 May 2011
If you dream it, you can achieve it
It's time for a new post. I've been putting it off for quite some time.
I have finally left St. Thomas University. I have finally left Vanier Hall. and finally I have left everything I have known for the past 4 years. They say when a chapter of your life ends, a new one begins. I'm not sure I know what that new beginning will be. But I sure will embrace whatever comes my way.
In Vanier I will miss finding Annie MacDuff in the 2nd floor lounge. I will miss the gathering of my girls on 3rd floor. I will miss tormenting the crap out of my first years by saying oh Hey Girl Hey to them daily. I will miss wearing that green RA shirt weekly. I miss giving out the mail and seeing the happy faces of excitement because they actually have mail. I will miss being in a house full of girls. I will miss bugging the cleaner Gloria weekly and saying how she was my partner in crime. even though I will miss lots, I know I will carry so many memories with me to last a life time. To be honest I feel the most important thing that I can take from my experience of living in Vanier for 3 years is that I have touched many lives. But also that so many lives have touched my heart as well. There is no better feeling then knowing you've made a difference in some way. You will never remember what someone did, you will never remember what someone said, but you will always remember how they made you feel. :)
At STU I will miss the feeling of belonging. I will miss finding a friend in James Dunn at Tim's to have coffee with, I will miss the friendly faces of the cafeteria that I came to know and love. I will miss dropping by to Residence Life, just because. I will miss the beautiful campus. I came to learn who I was because of that school. I discovered so much about society because of the professors and the students. But most importantly I learned my passion. My passion is to help people and I am forever grateful I had the opportunity to become an RA to find this passion.
Today happened to be my Nan's burial. What a rainy and cold day it was. It was short and sweet. My nan would have hated the rain. But knowing she's finally at peace in her resting place, I could not ask for more. I finally have my most prized possession thanks to my aunt Sharon, the mug I made my Nan a year ago. I'm so happy I have it back. Thank you Sharon, it means so much.
Slowly I've been getting unpacked, I just have so much stuff it's kind of ridiculous. but it'll get done eventually.I worked the election on Monday for 15 hours and Congress is coming up so I'll be busy with that. BUT in 10 days.... I am Graduating. Now that is a sign of true success. I am going to graduate even though this past year was so difficult. my lowest grade this semester was a B. Like that is so awesome, so proud I am.
If I could give any advice it would be: if you dream it, you can achieve it. I know I did.
I have finally left St. Thomas University. I have finally left Vanier Hall. and finally I have left everything I have known for the past 4 years. They say when a chapter of your life ends, a new one begins. I'm not sure I know what that new beginning will be. But I sure will embrace whatever comes my way.
In Vanier I will miss finding Annie MacDuff in the 2nd floor lounge. I will miss the gathering of my girls on 3rd floor. I will miss tormenting the crap out of my first years by saying oh Hey Girl Hey to them daily. I will miss wearing that green RA shirt weekly. I miss giving out the mail and seeing the happy faces of excitement because they actually have mail. I will miss being in a house full of girls. I will miss bugging the cleaner Gloria weekly and saying how she was my partner in crime. even though I will miss lots, I know I will carry so many memories with me to last a life time. To be honest I feel the most important thing that I can take from my experience of living in Vanier for 3 years is that I have touched many lives. But also that so many lives have touched my heart as well. There is no better feeling then knowing you've made a difference in some way. You will never remember what someone did, you will never remember what someone said, but you will always remember how they made you feel. :)
At STU I will miss the feeling of belonging. I will miss finding a friend in James Dunn at Tim's to have coffee with, I will miss the friendly faces of the cafeteria that I came to know and love. I will miss dropping by to Residence Life, just because. I will miss the beautiful campus. I came to learn who I was because of that school. I discovered so much about society because of the professors and the students. But most importantly I learned my passion. My passion is to help people and I am forever grateful I had the opportunity to become an RA to find this passion.
Today happened to be my Nan's burial. What a rainy and cold day it was. It was short and sweet. My nan would have hated the rain. But knowing she's finally at peace in her resting place, I could not ask for more. I finally have my most prized possession thanks to my aunt Sharon, the mug I made my Nan a year ago. I'm so happy I have it back. Thank you Sharon, it means so much.
Slowly I've been getting unpacked, I just have so much stuff it's kind of ridiculous. but it'll get done eventually.I worked the election on Monday for 15 hours and Congress is coming up so I'll be busy with that. BUT in 10 days.... I am Graduating. Now that is a sign of true success. I am going to graduate even though this past year was so difficult. my lowest grade this semester was a B. Like that is so awesome, so proud I am.
If I could give any advice it would be: if you dream it, you can achieve it. I know I did.
Friday, 15 April 2011
to be compassionate, to be responsible, to be free, to be...
Ever get so excited for something?
I am. I'm excited for home. my mother's bright smile followed by a welcoming hug. my father's grin with few words followed by a hug. I am excited to walk into my home with all my belongings from Fredericton. As much as I love Fredericton, my home in Miramichi is what I love most. I miss the atmosphere of love, of welcoming smiles from my most favorite two people in the world. Nothing makes me more proud, when I look at them. They have made me into the woman I am today, and that I am forever grateful for.
Lately I've been lonely. I'm not familiar to this feeling. I just feel a part of me is missing these days. I feel going home will do me well.
I am. I'm excited for home. my mother's bright smile followed by a welcoming hug. my father's grin with few words followed by a hug. I am excited to walk into my home with all my belongings from Fredericton. As much as I love Fredericton, my home in Miramichi is what I love most. I miss the atmosphere of love, of welcoming smiles from my most favorite two people in the world. Nothing makes me more proud, when I look at them. They have made me into the woman I am today, and that I am forever grateful for.
Lately I've been lonely. I'm not familiar to this feeling. I just feel a part of me is missing these days. I feel going home will do me well.
This is a picture of my wonderful parents. This exact picture is my screensaver on my laptop, so i'm reminded every time of them and how close home really is for me. 2 weeks until home. :) :) :)
soon, I will be free..
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Endings with new beginnings?
They say when door closes another opens. I believe this to be very true.
"When one door closes another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us" - Helen Keller
That is a quote that gets me every time.
Last week marked my final Vanier house dinner, on April 7th. I had the opportunity of giving out my winglet awards for 3rd floor this year. So honoured because I had received that winglet award the past 2 years while being a resident on 3rd floor. I don't feel it's hit me that I'm finally leaving residence, leaving Vanier. Maybe it will hit me soon.
Talk about hitting a person soon... grad dinner was last week as well, on April 8th. If that doesn't hit me maybe the fact that the class composite for grads was displayed in James Dunn Hall would be enough of a realization... but it's not.
I'm not sad, I'm not glad, I'm not scared. I'm excited. The future is so unknown for me, but I'm okay with that. I don't know where I will be, I don't know what I will be doing, but i do know for a fact I'm going places.
St. Thomas has done so many good things for me. The people, the classes, the university, the organizations I took part in; live within me always. This place has given me an amazing opportunity to help discover who I am. After my first year at STU I became to realize I was meant to be here. Not that I was the smartest or most involved but I found a place that felt like home. Before I came to STU I almost had a mental breakdown from having a relationship with my first love end in 2007 and leaving the only job I knew which was Zellers. I didn't know if STU would make me, or break me. Turns out STU made me. STU made me realize there is so much more to life when I thought my world was crumbling. Just like STU has currently made me aware that because I don't have this wonderful plan to change the world, that it is okay. I am who I am because of the people I've met and the experiences I have endured. I could not ask for more. I know good things are ahead of me. I plan to enjoy this time away from school. But don't be mistaken. I'M NOT DONE SCHOOL! I am destined to go elsewhere and when that time comes, I will embrace it.
Today is my last day of classes for my BA. I have my final class at 4. So off I go.
There might be endings but so many new beginnings are about to start. I am so excited for that.
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